The Notorious B.R.G.

Original Boggart Ram-Gang is here. Apologies to Dave Allsop and Wizards of the Coast.

Who doesn't like cheap muscle? Three red/green, three power, three toughness, screeching across the street, tearing up the neighbor's lawn then smashing through their front door. Hot-rod goblins who peel out as soon as the mana's been pumped, never mind the gas cap, no time for seat belts, 'cause life's too short and summoning sickness is for suckas!

And wither is just the dealership's extra coating on this sick ride. My Gang for your Finks? Think on it.

Yeah, I know Boggart Ram-Gang isn't exactly breaking news, but I wanted to pay tribute before it rotates out of Standard, and use it as a segue into my brief Grand Prix Seattle/Tacoma report. I had a set of these goblin monster trucks in my GP deck, a deck that I hastily named Ajani Cougar Mellencamp. For you younger readers that is a reference to aging rocker John Cougar Mellencamp ... his songs are in truck commercials. Forget it. Dumb name for a deck. Here's the list:

4 Boggart Ram-Gang
4 Mogg Fanatic
4 Hellspark Elemental
4 Anathemancer
4 Path to Exile
4 Volcanic Fallout
4 Flame Javelin
3 Incinerate
2 Wrath of God
2 Ajani Vengeant
1 Banefire
4 Battlefield Forge
4 Rugged Prairie
4 Vivid Crag
2 Graven Cairns
2 Auntie's Hovel
2 Sulfurous Springs
1 Reflecting Pool
4 Mountains
1 Plains

sideboard:
3 Guttural Response
3 Everlasting Torment
2 Hallowed Burial
2 Chaotic Backlash
2 Wispmare
2 Thought Hemorrhage
1 Pithing Needle

ROUND 1 vs. B/W tokens: Lost game 1 by when my Volcanic Fallout during his attack turned into a Zealous Persecution nightmare. Won game 2 off a 10 point Chaotic Backlash. Game 3 I had to deal with a couple Burrenton Forge-Tenders right off the bat. I was able to neuter them with an Everlasting Torment, but still fell to the swarm.
L

ROUND 2 vs. R/B Blightning-type aggro: Went 0-2 in this one but the games were actually pretty close. In the first I had a chance to win if I drew a seventh land to unearth Anathemancer. I drew Auntie's Hovel with no other cards in hand.
L

ROUND 3 vs. some kind of thing that was trying to deck me: The opponent's deck was not very efficient, and I won the round despite dropping one in this scenario: he has maybe 9 life left, I have 20. We're both playing off the top of our decks. He casts Liliana Vess. I draw a Banefire which I have to use or else it will be discarded on his turn. I choose to Banefire him for 6 rather than fry the planeswalker, figuring I can get that last few damage in somehow. A few drawn land, a few loyalty counters later and I'm dying to all of my own Ram-Gangs, Fanatics and an Anathemancer he'd just milled. I should have killed the planeswalker when I had the chance.
W

ROUND 4 vs. faeries splashing green for Maelstrom Pulse: I won both games with contributions from all of those cards the faeries hate (Fallout, Banefire, Anathemancer). At one point I dumbly targeted a faerie that was enshrouded by the Scion of Oona. My opponent didn't notice either, but I realized when I passed the turn back and immediately called over a judge. He ruled that we play on. He politely and efficiently gave me a rules infraction warning and the opponent got a failure to maintain game state warning. I felt a little stupid but at least the game was pretty much sown up before the misplay.
W

ROUND 5 vs. Cascade Swans: My main deck is ineffective in this match-up. And then after bringing eight cards in from the sideboard, and being able to actually Thought Hemorrhage his Seismic Assaults away, I got manhandled by a pair of Countryside Crushers.
L

So, a record of 2-3 then dropped. I didn't have much time to test, nor did I do enough to address the late-breaking Cascade Swans curveball. But I didn't accidentally dump my sleeved library on the floor either, so that's something! It was my first GP and something else to experience the monster event (1127 players!) in person. Learned some lessons and played lots of Magic. Not sure when I'll get a chance to do another GP or PTQ, but I'm up for it. I'll let you know.